Daddy's Home by Tony Rubino and Gary Markstein for April 13, 2010

You would never believe some of the things computer techs hear. I got so that if I have to call any sort of computer hotline I use the jargon I learned in university so I can skip the “repeat after me…” part.

You always get the same questions that assume that you are mentally defective:

Is it plugged in? Is it turned on?

always DEMAND to speak with their supervisor.

They have a checklist and they just refuse to start at step five. I had a job were I would have to call almost weekly. I knew the checklist so well I would rattle of the first five steps as complete but they would still want to go over them again.

okay , now lets see, click on the icon that looks like a whatchamacallit next to the thingamagig in the corner

To know that we know what we know, and to know that we do not know what we do not know, that is true knowledge.

They get paid by the hour…nuff said

Some of these folks might not be techs. The might just be folks that got hired off the street and trained in the following manner.

“read this script.”

OK. You’re trained.;

They likely don’t know what the words mean either. So if they picked up “how to clean your toilet bowl” by mistake, you will hear, “Now see the white oval disk? This is called a “lid”.” Repeat after me, L-I-D, LID.

Now we move to the bowl….

You would be amazed on how computer illiterate most of the general public are. I’ve lost track in my career to how many people call a tower “the modem”. or when you tell them to reboot the shut off the monitor.

I know the questions sound stupid, but you’d be surprised at how many times the question, “Is the computer turned on” fixes the problem. There are still people out there that think the monitor is the computer and haven’t turned the tower on!

I was using computers before most of these service techs were even born.

Punch cards.

Slide rule….

Mr. Rogers’ Tech Support.

Whoever makes the Butterball Turkeys has a support line for people who have cooking problems on holidays. Duhhh??? I’ll just go to Cracker Barrel or cook a boneless turkey breast.