As corny as this sounds, I feel like such a has bean when you guys beet me to all the good puns. I’m even starting to get a little pead off. I think I’m going to the garden to eat worms.
Ladies and gentlemen, I did not bring you here to laugh tonight, I came to sell you something. The Amazing Master Tool Corporation, a subsidiary of FlybyNight Industries has intrusted, who? Me. To sell you the handiest and dandiest kitchen tool you’ll ever see. AND DON’T YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW IT WORKS??? You take the offending vegetable between two metal plates, and then it’s not a slicer. Not a dicer. Not a chopper in a hopper. What could it be?SLEDGE-O-MATIC
jmcx4 over 12 years ago
I say, always turn up with a smile.
Pineapplechunks over 12 years ago
Brussels sprouts make me cry!
rocketscientist over 12 years ago
I think someone wrapped a bowling ball in cabbage leaves. Either that, or it was grown in soil with a high iron content.
Heima over 12 years ago
A second vote for the acrid evil that are Brussels sprouts. Blech!
Buzza Wuzza over 12 years ago
Switch to mushrooms!
Jkiss over 12 years ago
Oh man, I’ve been cabbaged. I thought vegetables were my friends.
PICTO over 12 years ago
As corny as this sounds, I feel like such a has bean when you guys beet me to all the good puns. I’m even starting to get a little pead off. I think I’m going to the garden to eat worms.
jmcx4 over 12 years ago
@PictoCheck with Sluggo for worms.I like monkey heads, (Brussel Sprouts), steamed or stir fried.
The Hammer Premium Member over 12 years ago
My favorite veggies are Steak & Potatoes……….mmmm, mmmm
My favorite veggie joke: Don’t cook carrots and pee in same pot!
bmonk over 12 years ago
Okra and eggplant are even worse than Brussels Sprouts.
Lettuce us praise all the puns. Romaine the internet, most don’t reach the quality of these.
I’ll bet Harry doesn’t like leeks in the pot either!
hossblacksilver over 12 years ago
Ladies and gentlemen, I did not bring you here to laugh tonight, I came to sell you something. The Amazing Master Tool Corporation, a subsidiary of FlybyNight Industries has intrusted, who? Me. To sell you the handiest and dandiest kitchen tool you’ll ever see. AND DON’T YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW IT WORKS??? You take the offending vegetable between two metal plates, and then it’s not a slicer. Not a dicer. Not a chopper in a hopper. What could it be?SLEDGE-O-MATIC
Sherlock Watson over 12 years ago
Tomatoes don’t count because they’re actually a fruit.Broccoli used to make me cry; it doesn’t anymore, because I just avoid it altogether.
zero over 12 years ago
I am 100% with the others regarding the horrid brussel sprout. On more than one occasion, after refusing to eat those things, my parents made me cry…
ab_rico over 12 years ago
Onions can be funny. Just see this comic: http://www.gocomics.com/onion-and-pea
coffeemugman over 12 years ago
Cauliflower, asparagus & beets, oh my!