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Ralph: Look what I've got, Wally! It's an old bank statement from 2005! Wad wad crumple crumple Do you want it? OK, here you go!
Wally: Shred! Rip! Tear! Rip! Shred!
Ralph: Who needs a paper shredder when you have a dachshund!
HEY! What a great Idea! I got a ADD Chiweenie dog. Should do the work