Free Range by Bill Whitehead for September 13, 2012

My girlfriend asked me something similar to this.

It’s Alferd, not Alfred.

I thought it was the dinner party.

Donner party of 4? Your table is ready.

Donner party of 6? Your table is ready

Sorry – appears the delete option is broken this morning

It’s Alferd Packer, not Alfred.

And you may want to check if the Donner Party has Democrats in it. He liked them best. (Legend has it that Judge Melville B. Gerry of Lake City , a Democrat, pronounced sentence upon Packer this way: ’You voracious man-eating son of a b*tch, there was seven Democrats in Hinsdale County and you ate five of them. G*d da*n you! I sentence you to be hanged by the neck until you are dead, Dead, DEAD, as a warning against reducing the Democratic population of Hinsdale County. Packer, you Republican cannibal, I would sentence you to H*ll but the statutes forbid it").

Yes. The Uruguayan rugby team that crashed in the Andes and had to resort to cannibalism or starve to death had some condemn them—but generally they are seen in a positive light.

Hint – never let your children get spoiled; they taste better fresh.