Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for April 01, 2015

All my guinea pigs are quite visible, noisy, and demanding.

My bow legs are tied up right now……

Or, when your lover has kidnapped your happiness and demands a ransom, lest they torment your guinea pigs and push all your secret buttons, you can get rid of the lover and regain it yourself.The most efficient solution is sometimes also the most satisfying.

I think I want the butter concession.

Ah, enchanting Virginia. Met my good wife there, and didn’t even have to brush my bow legs with butter. But that state will always have a special place in each of my seven hearts…

I’m not convinced butter is the better choice … have you tried Pam?

I’d be happy to butter your buttons.

If you lose a friend because of an invisible guinea pig, tell yourself, “She wasn’t a real friend anyway”. Loyal and true friends don’t let invisible guinea pigs affect their friendship.

You know, with FA we’ve come to expect the unexpected, but that Cessna 172 came right out of the blue.

delightful.

That’s too much to remember! I think I’ll just sit on Virginia and pout….

I am enchanted to meet your buttered bow-legs, Virginia .If you are favorably disposed, the button kiosk over yonder is selling Peruvian Cuy ,a melt-in-you-mouth delicacy, or so I am told.

This may be the best advice I’ve ever gotten. Unfortunately, I’m actually trying to lose most of my friends, and so I need to find some of those invisible guinea pigs. None on eBay so far.

A while back I commented…

“Statistically Improbable Phrases, Statimprophrases or SIPs constitute a system developed by Amazon.com to compare all of the books they index in the Search Inside! program and find phrases in each that are the most unlikely to be found in any other book indexed.1 The system is used to find the most nearly unique portions of books for use as a summary or keyword.SIP is also used more generally to refer to a search string likely to generate meaningful results from a search engine; that is, a string whose chance of occurring in a desirable result is much greater than its chance of occurring in a non-desirable result.”-Wikipediafrog + applause has to be one of the most Statistically Improbable Phrases I’ve ever read.Well, today’s strip is just runs rampant with SIPs.

Used to know a guy with bow legs.Shot himself in the heart with a .22.Nobody knows why.No butter or invisible guinea pigs were found at the scene.

Mea culpa. I just put on my glasses and saw it’s a taildragger, not a Cessna. How lame of me.

Is LAME redundant on April 1st?

April 1st is redundant in a LAME world.It is the LAME misleading the LAME to no good ends.As Bun E. Carlos might ask, “Electric Prunes? Really?”

Vanilla Fudge – Bang Bang (Beat Club, 1968)

Jumped too quickly and hit a parallel.Vanilla Fudge was incorrect.Electric Prunes was the correct band in the incidental waveform for drummers, moving forward from Slipknot and Arkansas. What this all has to do with Indiana, the Final Four and the 1993 Restoration of Religious Freedom Act, missing emails, Benghazi and Kent State remains a complete mystery. Invisible hate buttons maybe?Bunnies are pretty easy to understand, though.Shoulda toined left at Albuquerque. There are no Spring Break destinations in Texas.Carmine Appice, the Vanilla Fudge drummer, is quite well outside the waveform and is touring with The Michael Schenker group, which probably has nothing to do with the Slipknot drummer getting an Arkansas Toothpick in his head a short while back due to an excess of brotherly love.Sometimes, you just want to see Curly Howard spinning in circles on the floor and exclaiming, “Nya, nya, nya, nya!”

Although, Michael Schenker will be in San Antonio on April 11th. No fooling. And San Juan Capistrano on May 1st.

If anybody is wondering why drummers are significant, it is pointless to ask. One may as well wonder why the rabbit in Bambi is called Thumper when he doesn’t even carry a Bible.According to Wikipedia, Thumper’s Law is expressed as such:“If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.”Obviously, this was before the Internet.