Gasoline Alley by Jim Scancarelli for December 13, 2015

Yeah, but those aren’t real Joe Miller material. They’re from some kiddy joke book or other from the 1950s or so. Here’s an example of the real thing:

199. Two Brothers coming to be executed once for ſome enormous Crime; the Eldeſt was firſt turn’d off, without ſaying one Word: The other mounting the Ladder, began to harangue the Crowd, whoſe Ears were attentively open to hear him, expecting ſome Confeſſion from him, “Good People,” ſays he, "my Brother hangs before my Face, and you ſee what a lamentable SPECTACLE he makes; in a few Moments I ſhall be turned off too, and then you’ll ſee a Pair of SPECTACLES.”—Joe Miller’s Jests; or the WITS Vade-mecumMDCCXXXIX

I’ll just wait here until you stop screaming.