Heart of the City by Steenz for June 30, 2015

Too good to be true.

I agree. I was a “stick-figure” of a child. I learned at an early age that you have to stand up to a bully. It is the only way to stop them. Most often, you gain their respect. At the least, they become instantly bored with you. Once I realized the worst thing that could happen was I got beat up (which it seemed I was going to anyway,) I decided to stand up and act like a strong, confident girl. I once showed up for an after-school “call out” for a fight. The bully who called me out didn’t. I instantly gained a reputation as being a fighter, and that stopped the bullying for the rest of my school years!

As a survivor (not victim, survivor) of emotional abuse from my father, I still think you’re blaming the wrong person for “allowing” abuse. When someone who’s suffering from this situation hears you say, “Toughen up, words can’t hurt”, all too often they hear “If you weren’t such a pathetic loser to begin with, you wouldn’t let this bother you.” Further damage. Words CAN hurt, and the damage can last for years. Physical bruises heal much faster.

Yeah. Everybody’s got a sad story. But you’re not automatically entitled to have someone else protect you from every thing and everybody in the world. You get to have the same chance as everyone else to figure out the way the universe works and how to be happy. Once you’re over the age of about 15, you don’t get to blame other people. Not your crazy mother. Not the uncle who touched you there. Not the mean old husband. .You can blame all the bad people who did things to you. But what does that get you? Nothing. Sure. They were bad people. We understand. We agree with you. They’re bad people. So? You better learn how to blame yourself, because if you pretend you’d be just fine without all the bad people, we’ve got news for you. There’s no end of bad people. Find the way to learn that you can’t be hurt and you won’t be afraid. That’s YOUR job. Maybe you do it. Maybe you don’t. No one can do it for you. And, yes, entities that can’t learn don’t thrive. Way of the world. The only game in town. So get on with it.

At least Dean’s wearing head protection. I’m worried what injuries Heart could suffer if this wasn’t a comic strip.

I worked with a guy whose son was being bullied at school because of his long hair. By his teacher! So Dad, who was a large long-haired, bearded motorcycle rider. He visited his son’s class, being a nice, respectful Dad, talking to all the kids, and being nice to the teacher. The bullying stopped, immediately.

excellent. my dad was wonderful and always had my back, mom too. but a long haired biker dad coming in to talk to the kids, that would have been too cool.

Oh no you don’t.

I almost had eye damage from a bully when I was growing up — with claw marks on my face. They protected the bully becasue her familly was poor and she would have been beaten at home. Instead, I got in trouble becasue I couldn’t get away from her — and the teacher sat us together becase she thought we might get to be friends — instead I was brusied up and down my body from her pinching and scratching.

A lot of you who want other peoples’ kids to toughen up want it because your kids are uncontrolled bullies — and to acknowledge that might mean you actually have to DO something about your predatory brats.

Zero tollerence only works if the people enforcing it sees what’s happening from the beginning. I knew someone whose son stepped in to protect a girl when she was being bullied. A teacher came on the scene at that point and thought my friends son was the instigator and took him off for punishment, thus letting the real cuprets escape. Even after things were cleared up no one could identify the bullies and they escaped punishment while my friends son was punished for trying to stop them.

I just thought of another incident I heard about, not exactly bullying, but the school’s reaction was so outragious I just have to share it. A friend’s step daughter was approached by the quarterback on her schools football team and he basically told her to have sex with him or else. She chose or else, unfortunately for the quarterback she was into martial arts and beat him to a pulp when he tried to force her. Two of his friends from the team were standing nearby and decided to join the fight and she put them on the ground along with the quarterback. Then things got strange, the principal suspended the girl for attacking the three football players and threatened to take her to court on assault charges. That’s when her step-father stepped in and asked the principal what he’d been smokeing and threatening to charge charge the three boys with sexual misconduct and assault. In the end the supension was removed and charges were never filed since my friend decided the boys had been punished enough (they missed the rest of the football season because of their injuries) and when the principal was asked to explain why he’d tried to punish the girl for defending herself he said something like, “But they’re football players, everyone expects them to act like that.”

I’m very sorry to read about your loss. As someone who was bullied from 1962 to 1969. I really felt her pain. This is when I was in public school. It’s not my place to offer advice after the fact. However, I feel that if this happens again, you’ll know what to do. Good luck and God Bless You!

“And if the ride doesn’t kill you, I will! I LOVE killing children! AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!”