In the Bleachers by Ben Zaehringer for March 18, 2025

If this is Heaven, pull out your hand and you’ll have the exact change. If this is Hell, pull out your hand and you’ll always be a penny short.

I thought everything is free up there!!!

“No bev for you!” — [He’s not in the place he thought he was.]

And you need real ID now to get in.

GET OUT OF THE WAY THATS BEVS’ CART!

Since you can’t take “it” with you, you didn’t bring anything, except your phone, you probably snuck your phone in.

He spent it all on the stairway??

That is all just carbonated artificially sweetened water because in heaven there is no beer.

Adam and Eve just use Apple Pay

Just use your digital wallet, the information is right there in the cloud.

It’s surely not heaven without a vegetable patch, fruit trees, a cheese maker and a clean waterfall nearby .

Maybe that’s White Sands, New Mexico .

You can’t take it with you.