In the Sticks by Nathan Cooper for February 19, 2013

This dialogue came up in another strip a few weeks ago. I voiced an opinion similar to yours, and got reamed by someone on how I obviously was not a parent and blah, blah, blah. They had so totally bought into this concept, that all I could do was feel sorry for her kids. They are going to grow up being victims and have that deer in the headlights look on their face when reality slaps them in the face.

I tried to listen to my kids and their friends when they were younger and what I heard from them confirmed that the experts were wrong. None of the kids liked having no winners or losers. Yeah, they hated to lose, but they also didn’t want to get an award for something silly. They wanted a challenge, something to measure their progress against. Without winners and losers, you can’t do that. Without knowing who the top kids in your class are, you don’t know what to aim for. The adults who are into the “self-esteem” building for kids were probably picked last, never won an award and never understood that, if you want to be on top, you have to understand what winners do.

I coached my son’s second grade basketball team. We weren’t allowed to keep score, but the kids knew who scored the most points. At the last game of the year, we won and I gave everyone high fives and told them good job. Then I saw one of my team members crying and asked what was wrong. He asked how come we didn’t get trophys like the other team, and sure enough, I looked over and there were the coaches from the other team giving everyone on the team a trophy and taking pictures. Made me feel like an a$$, but I told my kids that not everyone can always have a trophy. Last I heard, every one of those kids is still alive…just sayin’!

Not to mention that children hardly have ‘fragile’ anything, let alone egos or self-esteem. Kids are very resiliant and tough. They have to be.