Loose Parts by Dave Blazek for December 15, 2020

You just need to break out the WD-40.

When he gets a hold of the maintenance crew…heads are going to roll.

It’ll work with perfect execution.

that don’t sound like a good idea, any way you slice it…

“Show me how”.

I’m hearing Lumberg from Office Space in my head

https://youtu.be/JFRa7Ovym8s

A priest, a prostitute, and an engineer are set to be executed by guillotine.

The priest says “I have but one final request. Let me lay face-up so that I can look my God in the eye as I die.” The executioners shrug, say “Sure, ok” and he positions himself in the guillotine. But – the blade sticks halfway down. It’s a miracle. The executioners cross themselves, and let him go, seeing it as a divine sign.

The prostitute thinks “That’s worth a try” and also asks to be face-up. Another miracle! The blade sticks and she too is let go.

The engineer also asks to lay face up. As they’re resetting the blade, he calls out “Hey! I think I see what your problem is!”

Are you kidding me?

Political Leaders, ladies and gentlemen!

I’m not sure how to do that, can you show me first?

“And the [insert nationality] prisoner is asked if he has any last words.

“‘Yes…put a little grease in the grooves. It’ll work much better.’”

Looks like a suicide mission.

Sure but first sharpen that blade better and grind off the rust. You want me to catch tetanus?

Sure, anything to make your job easier

A little complicated for a non-professional.

New meaning to “stick the landing”

Does he realize it will void his warranty?

Exploding of a mini-tramp is what got me here to begin with!