Man: Mrs. Jacobs...your son was in an accident...and I'm sorry but he's...he's... Woman: No....
Man: ....he's wearing dirty underwear.... Woman: No! No! Why? Why?! Why!?
He texted me that he was speeding home to change to clean underwear in case he got into an accident. I called him back to tell him that his underwear was still in the dryer. He texted me later to tell me that he was stuck in traffic, so he was going to chug a pint of Everclear. That’s the last I heard from him until now.
When I was eleven I broke my arm in an accident and was taken to the hospital and nobody checked my underwear.That’s when I started checking the veracity of some of my mother’s other statements.
As a certain comedian said (paraphrasing), “I always have clean underwear in my glove compartment. When a semi crosses the center line, first I’ll say it, then I’ll do it. But when Mom asks if I had clean underwear they can say, ‘Yes! We found it in the glove compartment.’”
orinoco womble over 8 years ago
The last thing nurses and doctors care about is the state of your underwear. Moms, however…
Brian G Premium Member over 8 years ago
If you are in an accident, you will probably not have clean underwear, even if you put it on clean moments before.
First you say it, then you do it.
Liverlips McCracken Premium Member over 8 years ago
Every mother’s nightmare.
Cloudchaser over 8 years ago
Not a problem for us feral canines. We don’t wear pants much less underwear
Farside99 over 8 years ago
He texted me that he was speeding home to change to clean underwear in case he got into an accident. I called him back to tell him that his underwear was still in the dryer. He texted me later to tell me that he was stuck in traffic, so he was going to chug a pint of Everclear. That’s the last I heard from him until now.
PICTO over 8 years ago
When I was eleven I broke my arm in an accident and was taken to the hospital and nobody checked my underwear.That’s when I started checking the veracity of some of my mother’s other statements.
whiteheron over 8 years ago
Perhaps accident accidents are time delayed. (As in never trust a fart)
SkyFisher over 8 years ago
I thought making a mess of your underwear was an “accident.”
neverenoughgold over 8 years ago
Thankfully he won’t be needing an underweartaker…
Coyoty Premium Member over 8 years ago
If the underwear is hazmat-dirty, then it’s believable.
adrianrune over 8 years ago
As a certain comedian said (paraphrasing), “I always have clean underwear in my glove compartment. When a semi crosses the center line, first I’ll say it, then I’ll do it. But when Mom asks if I had clean underwear they can say, ‘Yes! We found it in the glove compartment.’”