Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for February 26, 2016

The last thing nurses and doctors care about is the state of your underwear. Moms, however…

If you are in an accident, you will probably not have clean underwear, even if you put it on clean moments before.

First you say it, then you do it.

Every mother’s nightmare.

Not a problem for us feral canines. We don’t wear pants much less underwear

He texted me that he was speeding home to change to clean underwear in case he got into an accident. I called him back to tell him that his underwear was still in the dryer. He texted me later to tell me that he was stuck in traffic, so he was going to chug a pint of Everclear. That’s the last I heard from him until now.

When I was eleven I broke my arm in an accident and was taken to the hospital and nobody checked my underwear.That’s when I started checking the veracity of some of my mother’s other statements.

Perhaps accident accidents are time delayed. (As in never trust a fart)

I thought making a mess of your underwear was an “accident.”

Thankfully he won’t be needing an underweartaker…

If the underwear is hazmat-dirty, then it’s believable.

As a certain comedian said (paraphrasing), “I always have clean underwear in my glove compartment. When a semi crosses the center line, first I’ll say it, then I’ll do it. But when Mom asks if I had clean underwear they can say, ‘Yes! We found it in the glove compartment.’”