Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 08, 2012
November 07, 2012
November 09, 2012
Transcript:
Crocodile mom: Larry, if you're not gonna catch this family a zebra, you need to go to the unemployment office and get a job. Larry the croc: Fine. Me great. Give me job. Dey not helpful.
Need to have had a job first within the past X number of months before he can apply for unemployment. Larry’s been unemployed for years now. But he, he can apply for welfare and get it without having to actually work for it anymore.
Actually, considering Larry’s record, I thought he did pretty well. Last time he made a resume he wrote something like “me no gud at nuthing”. So “me great. give me job” is a step in the right direction
I love that he showed up at the unemployment office holding his beer can. Like the idiots that go to court wearing shorts, sandals and a tee shirt. Really. Guys charged with DUI wearing a Jim Beam tee shirt to court. Candidates for the Darwin Awards.
i have a family member that can’t understand why employers can his ass after he shows up drunk/hung-over and does just about nothing for his shift, other than smoking, drinking his bottle of water and watching everyone else work. one firing involved the boss finding him dead asleep in a closet. they’re out there, folks.
You know what is ironic about this is at my work we never had a recession. We have been hiring non stop practically since 2008 ( a few months we take hiring breaks to let the new people learn before flooding more new people in ) I do a lot of interviews and if we make 10 for one day, half will not show up at all. No shows to interviews, turns out most those people don’t really want jobs they are just required to try to keep getting unemployment.
The law doesn’t say they have to show up to the interview just that they need to apply at so many places per week. Some of them look to be pretty promising canidates with good backgrounds so I would call them to see if it was an emergency or if they wanted to reschedule and they would tell me H*ll no I just want to keep getting unemployement but that once that gets close to running out they would consider it.
Since then if someone no shows we flag them as unhirable even if they try in the future when their unemployement runs out. It has been kind of nice to have people begging for a chance now that their unemployement ran out and I saw, sorry you had it and you blew it.
Another problem is every place you go to apply says “Apply Online.” So what happens, Click top name, Shift key and click bottom name, delete. no messingh around actually looking at applications. Of course that doesn;t help the people looking for jobs.
margueritem almost 12 years ago
Honest Wife, I try real hard!
Bilan almost 12 years ago
Not even as an English teacher?!?
legaleagle48 almost 12 years ago
I see he’s gone to the Andy Capp School of Finding Employment.
Templo S.U.D. almost 12 years ago
Larry not specific. (Legaleagle48: good one!)
BRI-NO-MITE!! Premium Member almost 12 years ago
If only it were that easy.
Varnes almost 12 years ago
Maybe he didn’t like the kind of beer you drink, Larry…
SusanSunshine Premium Member almost 12 years ago
No no.He went to the UNemployment office… but he’s already unemployed.He needs to go to the JOBS office.Not HIS fault his wife steered him wrong.
Sisyphos almost 12 years ago
Larry try real hard, Patty. Now need beer!
Arianne almost 12 years ago
The advantages of showing up with a beer… tastes great, less filling out forms.
juicebruce almost 12 years ago
Larry need job:has no easy chair, has no remote, but does have beer !………………….now where is Zebra need munchies
knight1192a almost 12 years ago
Need to have had a job first within the past X number of months before he can apply for unemployment. Larry’s been unemployed for years now. But he, he can apply for welfare and get it without having to actually work for it anymore.
einarbt7 almost 12 years ago
UB40
mbreed184 almost 12 years ago
Who is the croc with the red hair?
Number Three almost 12 years ago
Better luck next time, Larry.
If there is a next time.
LOL xxx
Vonne Anton almost 12 years ago
“Give me job, or I eat you.” That would’ve worked.
jmartin1955 almost 12 years ago
Laugh out loud, loved the beer in his hand the whole time.
flagfly almost 12 years ago
He has the drink in the left hand, and in the right the rest of the time
cyberguy almost 12 years ago
Actually, considering Larry’s record, I thought he did pretty well. Last time he made a resume he wrote something like “me no gud at nuthing”. So “me great. give me job” is a step in the right direction
sandigilbo almost 12 years ago
@ flagfly re: beer mug in different hand. #1: best to have prop in background for camera shot. #2: Larry is amphibidextrous.
Kaputnik almost 12 years ago
Me go unemployment office one time 13 years ago. Dey give me money for month and a half. Den me find job troo connections me have.
cubswin2016 almost 12 years ago
And that guy wouldn’t give a nice croc like Larry a job? :@)
route66paul almost 12 years ago
If he can drink from either hand, he has leadership potential, at least he is as good as most of my bosses.
Sherlock Watson almost 12 years ago
He went in with his beer, and they tossed his Heineken right out. Tough Schlitz, Larry.
PoorPig almost 12 years ago
The croc with the red hair is Larry’s wife.
Rickapolis almost 12 years ago
I love that he showed up at the unemployment office holding his beer can. Like the idiots that go to court wearing shorts, sandals and a tee shirt. Really. Guys charged with DUI wearing a Jim Beam tee shirt to court. Candidates for the Darwin Awards.
Perkycat almost 12 years ago
Guess Larry has to go catch his family a zebra now.
dfowensby almost 12 years ago
i have a family member that can’t understand why employers can his ass after he shows up drunk/hung-over and does just about nothing for his shift, other than smoking, drinking his bottle of water and watching everyone else work. one firing involved the boss finding him dead asleep in a closet. they’re out there, folks.
Popeyesforearm almost 12 years ago
he should get a job AT the Unemployment Office.
angelfiredragon almost 12 years ago
You know what is ironic about this is at my work we never had a recession. We have been hiring non stop practically since 2008 ( a few months we take hiring breaks to let the new people learn before flooding more new people in ) I do a lot of interviews and if we make 10 for one day, half will not show up at all. No shows to interviews, turns out most those people don’t really want jobs they are just required to try to keep getting unemployment.
The law doesn’t say they have to show up to the interview just that they need to apply at so many places per week. Some of them look to be pretty promising canidates with good backgrounds so I would call them to see if it was an emergency or if they wanted to reschedule and they would tell me H*ll no I just want to keep getting unemployement but that once that gets close to running out they would consider it.
Since then if someone no shows we flag them as unhirable even if they try in the future when their unemployement runs out. It has been kind of nice to have people begging for a chance now that their unemployement ran out and I saw, sorry you had it and you blew it.
BRI-NO-MITE!! Premium Member almost 12 years ago
To anyone starting a new job: Think of your first month as an extension of the job interview.
Uskoke almost 12 years ago
His mum probably?
juicebruce almost 12 years ago
Croc with red hair, Larry’s wiff if me weberer whit.
Drewdove almost 12 years ago
Four more years, far more tears. Crocodile tears? No, real tears from someone four years unemployed. :’-(
juicebruce almost 12 years ago
Larry’s Wife.
BillWa almost 12 years ago
Another problem is every place you go to apply says “Apply Online.” So what happens, Click top name, Shift key and click bottom name, delete. no messingh around actually looking at applications. Of course that doesn;t help the people looking for jobs.
bmonk almost 12 years ago
Larry wrong: dey very helpful.
.
Dey help Larry out.
.
Same way he came in.
Carl Rennhack Premium Member almost 12 years ago
Larry couldn’t find a Job between Esther and Psalms!