Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for May 31, 2015
May 30, 2015
June 01, 2015
Transcript:
To all banks, insurance companies, computer makers, cable providers, and other big giganto corporations. Thank you for your beautiful commercials filled with beautiful people telling me beautiful things about your beautiful company. I can see from all these ads that your early want me to like you... And I want to like you. So here's a suggestion. Sometimes I have to call you and when I do, instead of spending all those billions on ads... Have live, non-robotic human in this country promptly pick up the *$!@#$ phone!!!! Rat: I think I blew out my nervous system. Pig: Too bad. The hold time for our health insurer is twelve hours.
The worst are the “voice recognition” ones who can’t understand a word you say. You say “I need repairs” and they say “I’ll get you right to a salesman.”
Then they all ask you to put in all this personal information, (your account number, your social security number, your blood type, your product number which is usually hidden on the bottom of the item in the smallest print imaginable). Once you dial or type all that in the first thing a real person does is ask you all that crap again only to have them say “I’m sorry we don’t handle those issues. I’ll transfer you to someone who does.” If your lucky that your call is not dropped during the transfer, you then have to tell them all the information again.
And God forbid if your call is routed overseas where it goes into a verbal dead letter office with no way to register a complaint about the service or the unintelligible representative on the other end!