Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for February 09, 2017

Wow! The possibile explanations for Rat’s last line seem endless!

I bet you say that to all the girls.

It gets worse when you meet super-athletes and people who worked hard all their lives whose bodies came apart in their mid-fifties like everyone else’s, just in different ways. Most of my family lost their minds in their seventies, so by the time I’m old enough for healthy living to pay off, I’m not going to be able to appreciate it. I don’t want to slowly melt into a hundred-year-old puddle, I’d rather die of a nice quick coronary at around age 70.

Rat’s just saying that because every female he’s dated calls him “The Minuteman.”

Its true though, living healthier isnt living better and doesnt guarantee a stressless life (which would contribute a lot to dying younger).

He did this joke already, a few years ago. Rat was at a doctor and getting the “bad news”, and was told that if he ate more vegetables (and other things), he would live longer … so that he could eat even more vegetables.

I read that last remark in Charlie Sheen’s voice.

Oh, so if Rat were to die tomorrow, does anyone think he would really mind?

My feelings exactly.

Moderation in all things and all things in moderation……..don’t worry be HAPPY ! Have 1 beer and 1 shot of Black Velvet then call me in the morning……

Always buy in bulk at the cheapest price.

You’ll never notice the difference!

You will actually come to believe that generic bulk products are better.

And all that extra time you added to your lifespan was spent sweating in the gym!

There is some truth to this I think.

Everything in moderation…..including moderation!

A reporter once asked an old man how he managed to live so long. The man replied that he didn’t smoke, drink alcohol, or consort with wild women and that tomorrow he would celebrate his 100th birthday. The reporter thought for a minute, then asked…How?

This reminds me of a Sunday Pearls Before Swine comic from 2005. I think the older one was funnier. http://www.gocomics.com/pearlsbeforeswine/2005/04/03

A lot of these wonder drugs…where they take 15 seconds to explain why you should take it and 45 seconds explaining why you shouldn’t…will extend your life no more than 6 months or less. Sounds like a miserable last 6 months according to some of those ads.

RAT GETS HIS WISH! Ziggy wears pants AND shoes today.

Grandma said,“If you don’t want to get old, you have to die young.”

I’ll just continue skipping the smoking, and alcohol

When asked to give up smoking and strong drink in order to live longer, Mark Twain quipped it’d be like buying a cow after it went dry.

I live for cutting large pieces of wood into small pieces of wood, then gluing the small pieces of wood together.

(seriously though, it’s called intarsia, and it’s a legitimate form of art)

Live until you die!

“…what are you living for?” Well, let’s see – spending time with your kids, service to others, music, art, sports, national parks, neighborhood parks, a good book, a good movie, countless simple pleasures…all of which can be enjoyed (and enjoyed more fully) without any “risky behavior.” Why is indulging in “fatty foods and alcohol and smoking and partying” considered by so many to be the best way to live?

@Adiraiju

I’d rather die of a nice quick coronary at around age 70.

I wonder if you’ll still feel that way when you’re 70… ☺

The way I see it: “When you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go!”

It’s how the world works. We don’t have to like it. Just accept it.

xxx

where are the comic censors when you really need them…?

Longer is better while it lasts! Am I right, girls?

Rat would make an excellent Surgeon General! At least he’s more honest than most of the pettifoggers in D.C.

No point in living a longer, sadder, sorrier life when the fun version is available….