Pooch Cafe by Paul Gilligan for March 17, 2021

why even bother tell Boomer these things?

Too soon old, too late smart!

Buy more Kibble ;-)

I want to say two words to you. Just two words.

Yes, sir.

Are you listening?

Yes, I am.

Chew toys

Exactly how do you mean?

There’s a great future in chew toys. Think about it. Will you think about it?

Happy St. Patrick’s Day to all.

Okay. I think I know what happened. I was visited by my future me and I told me to buy Apple. As much as I could. So of course I got a bag of McIntosh’s from the Piggly Wiggly. …DOH!

He was going to tell you to buy Game Stop.

Didn’t he bring you a sports almanac?

Day one: Send out 1024 emails. In half of them, say “Buy Acme! It’s going to go up!” In the other half, say “Sell Acme. It’s going to dive overnight.”

Day two: If Acme went up, send an email to the first group of 512. To half of them, say “Buy Ace, INC. It’s sure to grow.” To the other half, say “Sell Ace, INC. I predict losses for them.” If Acme went down, you send to the second group of 512 from day one but send the same emails about Ace, INC.

Day three: You’re going to send out an email to 256 people. Half of them you’ll tell to buy Stocks-r-us. The other half, you’re going to tell to sell Stocks-r-us.

Rinse and repeat for nine days until you’re down to one person. Tell that person “send me $1000 for tomorrow’s pick. I’ve given you the right pick for the past nine days so you can see I’ve got a great track record.”

Did he tell you where the squirrels have their monthly Poncho meetings?

Haha, I wonder if he could’ve told Poncho about Nvidia stock.