Real Life Adventures by Gary Wise and Lance Aldrich for November 22, 2009

This is why chivalry has died.

but we can be friends….

The break up has been going on for a looooooooong time. Same dialog, different words.

My Chivalry ran out of gas so I had to walk .

“Verily, I treasure thy friendship above rubies, and wouldst not imperil that – Nay, not for the riches of the Orient! We’ll take luncheon together, oftimes, by my throth. But, i’Faith, I am so busy of late… Sendeth not for me, I shall send for thee.”

—

She says “It’s not you, it’s me.”

She means “It’s not you, it’s this other guy…”

and ‘tis is your restraining order….I beg thee to heed lest you be confined in ye olde stocks

I do wish folks who affect archaic speech patterns would do so grammatically. “Why dost thou no longer wish to date?” All the misplaced -eths are annoying. (Yes, I know, I’m being picky but for some us, raised on Shakespeare and the KJV, these forms follow meaningful patterns.)

boghos, I feel your pain, but that battle’s lost…

I cringe everytime I see books “translating” Shakespeare into modern vernacular.

It’s not a foreign language, people!

Ah the breaketh up for thcentures with those with

speech impethements.