Real Life Adventures by Gary Wise and Lance Aldrich for June 29, 2020

Sounds like a plan.

There are less expensive ways to break bones, but none so sure.

I’ve broken a lot of bones over the years, most of them not mine!

I was helping my brother move and found my old skateboard that I had given my nephews. I was about 55 at that time. I walked out to the steep hill he lived on and started down. About half way down I realized I was going so fast there would be no way to jump off; all I could do was lean into the hill and try to survive the ride. I finally came to a stop because I started going up the next hill; never again.

After about 10 years of my bike being down I ordered tools I needed to fix and ride it. After about 3 days riding, last Friday I started thinking to myself, “This is fun…I should be able to go back to riding with no hands in another day or so”. Of course 5 minutes later a light pole jumps out in front of me, knocks me off balance and I fall to the ground. Went out again this morning though. Got to deal with the extra weight gain somehow.

I’d suggest a backyard trampoline instead, with heavy duty polyethylene netting.

Don’t forget the concussion.

Don’t forget to hit him over the head with a chunk of concrete for the concussion part of the whole experience.

I learned how to ice skate well enough to go forward and backward, 3-turns and counters; then decided I would try rollerblading. Turns out the sidewalk isn’t slippery enough. I had to sell my rollerblades, slightly used but well bloodied.

Why not drive to the hospital and skate to the door? You’d be admitted at once…