Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for April 05, 2015

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richard's poor almanac by richard thompson smithsonian's dillinger wing to close as part of his plan to "streamline" the vast institu-tion, smithsonian secretary lawrence m. small today called for the immediate closing of the dillinger wing. a long-neglected re-pository for items unclaim-ed by other museums, the dillinger wing has in re-cent years seen its staff reduced to a mere hand-ful and its visitorship dwindle away to almost nothing. allergies & you a hands-on exhibit the dillinger wing, located behind the main castle, next to the interminable construction. "we put up those 'no public restroom' signs and our daily traffic eased way off," said one of the remaining staffers, who declined to give his name, though his badge read "brian". "then we added the egress exhibit. so now nobody bothers us," he said. "it's so rest-ful here these days." brian secretary small described the dillinger wing as an "embarrassment" and "funny smelling." he proposes turning it into an "exhibit space for recently extinct animals, maybe we'll stuff some of those critters from that conservation and research center. either that or a parking garage. tourists just love parking!" monica lewinsky's tonsils king kong's spleen stonewall jackson's other arm fiji mermaid hall of disputed objects - soon to be extinct?