Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for May 28, 2015

Transcript:

richard's poor almanac ice cream to avoid by richard thompson kids! when the ice cream man shows up, don't buy these! boy 1: no! blup big meltdown - fudge center reacts violently when exposed to air. girl: eeyuk gothic swirl - like having a tiny, ice cream chartres cathedral! and who wants that? boy 2: ngyah! fantodpop - lifeless, staring bubblegum eyes will haunt you for life. boy 3: i can't reach the ice cream. swabsicle - puny wad of vanilla ice cream atop a yard-long stick. girl 2: ben franklin? i wanted ronald reagan. "greatest american" pop = unnecessary discovery channel tie-in. girl 3: ow. cruncharoo - contains shards of hard candy, nuts & possibly gravel. boy 4: "does the vanilla fudge ripple remember the cow?" what th- koanpop - the stick is imprinted with a zen paradox for meditation. girl 4: heyyyy- mummybar - years in cold storage have permanently welded wrapper to ice cream.