Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for January 01, 2016

Transcript:

Richard's Poor Almanac Hangover Yours for New Year's Day 2001 by Richard Thompson In ancient times it was believed that a hangover was caused by spirits in the bottle who, when disturbed, would lodge in your skull. To quiet them you would need to dig a hole at a busy crossroads & toss the bottle in. Given the state of many of our local roads this should be a snap. Who through this? You? Not so loud Lizards can slow their metabolisms to the point where circulation practically stops. Try it! Lie in a dark room. Now picture a tranquil scene, a meadow, say. All is hushed & serene. A son dappled truck meanders peacefully, a soothing Priester's your hair. Then boom- this guy jumps out from behind a tree, he's playing a kazoo & he's- juggling! He's juggling chainsaws & Chihuahua was! No! No! It's horrible! Fur is flying everywhere! Abort! Abort- Ngah When all else fails there's the old standby- have your head removed & cryogenically preserved until the hangover passes & your back to your old self again. And best of all, afterwords they give you ice cream! Yum