Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for October 30, 2017
October 27, 2017
October 31, 2017
Transcript:
summer weeding guide boorish ivy - if ignored will quickly grow into the shape of unwanted lawn objects (flamingo, chevy up on blocks, any large abandoned appliance). especially unnerving for those under autocratic neighborhood associations. dandelion 1: tie his shoelaces, together. dandelion 2: pure evil! dandelion.org - densely intertwined root system creates a sentient hive-mind prone to acts of petty maliciousness. sphincterwort - (methanium) an en-tirely unnecessary evolutionary devel-opment. too nasty to even draw. touchyweed - oversensitive to the needs of rootbound americans. runs screaming to the aclu when pulled up. rakeseed - step on it and the stalk flies up and hits you in the face! nature at its most playful! farmer: owch.
First pranksters will use them, then later in the battle against the Gilead in the Holy American Empire May Day take them and will be surreptitiously planted for bothersome annoyances of the Commanders at home.