Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for July 09, 2018

Transcript:

sky highlights for june early june - mercury, named for the god of hyperactivity & small sweater dogs, races in hectic random patterns across the evening sky, to everyone's ex-treme annoyance. june 12 - a newly discovered constellation appears in the west, near thermidor, the lob-ster. scientists are divided as to whether it most resembles a lawn chair, a box of fried wontons or the head of trent loff. ow ow ow hot hot hot ow ow june 20-22, summer solstice - the sun, a flaming ball of mostly hydrogen, loiters in the sky for 15 hours. it was once thought to be borne across the sky by apollo, the god of commuting, using big oven mitts, but now we know better. late june - jupiter, named for the god of gassy lethargy, heaves briefly into view then drops below the horizon with a wet squelchy sound. stay indoors. man: there's one! where? nope, i'm wrong an over-hyped yet severely disappointing meteor shower is tentatively scheduled for the end of the month. it'll peak at 3:15 a.m. so don't miss it!