Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for September 10, 2018
September 07, 2018
September 11, 2018
Transcript:
richard's poor almanac the eight nine planets richard & amy thompson cut this out & carry it with you. everything will be fine. my very excellent mother just seems unhinged nowadays. mother: nine pizzas. nine pizzas. nine pizzas. nine pizzas. nine nine nine nine nine nine nine. nine pizzas. oop: mother. go inside the house, please. pizza make vulgar, embarrasing, monotonous jokes saying "uranus." not. boy: lookit! i see a ring around us! oop: no. many venerated experts made jest, screwing up mnemonic. expert 1: ha-ha! expert 2: ho-ho! no more pluto! expert 3: where pluto go? expert 4: eight pizzas! hee hee international astronomical union
They messed up my mnemonic! I used to use “My Eleven Ripe Cantaloupes Ultimately Return Your Very Evil Nurse Unto Sam’s Mom’s Aunt’s Reversible Satanic Jalopy, Unless Plausibly Iterating Twin Elvises Reverse Said Aunt, Turning Ugly Radishes — Never Ugly Raisins — And Normally Unusable Salads Nicely Eaten, Provided They Understand Nobody Ever Profited Largely Unless They Overstated Calculated Earnings Reports, Especially Supremely Cretinous Harpies And Robotic Overlords; Nonetheless Xenophobia Exists Near Arkansas.”
Lucky for me it makes just as much sense to take out “Profited Largely Unless They Overstated,” so that you get
“My Eleven Ripe Cantaloupes Ultimately Return Your Very Evil Nurse Unto Sam’s Mom’s Aunt’s Reversible Satanic Jalopy, Unless Plausibly Iterating Twin Elvises Reverse Said Aunt, Turning Ugly Radishes — Never Ugly Raisins — And Normally Unusable Salads Nicely Eaten, Provided They Understand Nobody Ever Calculated Earnings Reports, Especially Supremely Cretinous Harpies And Robotic Overlords; Nonetheless Xenophobia Exists Near Arkansas.”
And Bob’s your uncle.