Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for January 16, 2021
Transcript:
corrections '98 by richard thomspon style man: eeeyikes the post inadvertently ran the text of the starr report in ann landers as a "how we met" story. our apologies. the starr report man: z then a "how we met" story ran as the starr report, leaving the impression that clinton met lewinsky in wartime london when he was a lonely bomber pilot. oops! kid: my head's on fire the comic strip "libertine meadows" was accidentally replaced by "yard apes." bug: eat my dust! which was sub-sequently replaced by "dust mites" by mistake. rat: yeesh, what a face! which in turn was unintentionally replaced by "mole rats." pig: yo - losers! then, after a few suicides by pushy readers, "libertine meadows" returned. also, the recent "spider-man" plot concerning a giant robot gorilla was shockingly lame. sorry. the twelve part expose on snake-handling ce-lebrity scientologists was just pretend. really. the story headlined "the squirrels attack" was jut a circulation-builder. it didn't really happen. same with the "headless soccer mom haunts coun-ty of death" story. so sue us! an 'a' section map incor-rectly identified two mid-western states as "north & south flyover." big deal! the recent horoscope, which advised that all scorpios were going straight to hell, was in error.
—And yet, that newspaper is still being published, and read by the Unwary….