Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for June 23, 2021
Transcript:
Richard's Poor Almanac Our Fireworks Heritage By Richard Thompson In 1776, the first roadside fireworks stand, Patriotic Illumination opens and South Carolina. It is later sold to South of the Border & renamed Pedro's Beeg Kaboom Room. In 1826, former Presidents John Adams and Thomas Jefferson are involved in a July 4th mishap. Huge cover up ensues. In 1889 the national July 4th celebration debuts on the mall. It is extremely low-key affair viewed by a group of invitation-only VIPs. The Park service angry about having to scrub out the black stains left on the sidewalk by those snakes later puts the official crowd count at 12. Ooh. Ooh. Oh. Aah. fiszzt Agk. In 1942 wartime rationing forces citizens to make their own Roman candles by mixing moxie, odol, Jell-O, Sani flush & victory brand flower substitute in a mason jar. Hey Pif In 1998 Star Wars to's technology meets pyro technology, allowing the city of Alexandria's July 4th fireworks to shoot down those in Falls Church.
The long "s"s on the stand are incorrect—they had no croſsbar and so they are actually "f"s, so perpetuating a modern miſconception. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Long_s