Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for February 28, 2022
February 25, 2022
March 02, 2022
Transcript:
memorial designs unveiled the committee for a memorial to failed presidential candi-dates today unveiled the top three designs for the memorial which will take up all that empty land on the ellipse. third place - "the big whack-a-mole." visitors would use mallets rented from a little park service kiosk to smack down busts of failed candidates as they emerged randomly from holes in the ground. committee chairman wally brown found this one "too gallagheresque." pigeon thomas dewey hubert humphrey alf landon pat buchanan second place - "the candidate who fell to earth & went boom." a strong piece, yet "too reminiscent of 'the awakening' on hains point," says chairman brown. first place - "dogpile!" the winning design depicts a swarm of over 1,200 candidates fighting to reach the top of an ionic column. "congratulations to mrs. adams's 7th grade art class for this fine entry." says brown. "it melds jeffersonian classicism with rodinian drama. and I really like the part where h. ross perot is chewing off lyndon larouche's leg."
Cpeckbourlioux about 3 years ago
Genius. Hilarious. I had forgotten Ross Perot. What an oen.
Teto85 Premium Member about 3 years ago
Does the Dogpile have multiple renditions of multiple losers like Dewey, Stevenson and Bryan and Henry Clay? Clay and Bryan are the only 3 time presidential election losers so far. Dewey and Stevenson are two time losers and Dewey holds the distinction of losing to two different opponents.
Sisyphos about 3 years ago
Whoa! Second Place is uncomfortably close in appearance to my avatar! (Although I am right-side up.)That First Place entry gives way too many chances for displaying wit!
Lizzie Premium Member about 3 years ago
I seriously want 3rd place to exist.