Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for January 22, 2025

Transcript:

richard's poor almanac by richard thompson new loser sought besides leaving an estimated 90-trillion-dollar hole in the economy, the sudden loss of "peanuts" has the nation scrambling to find a lovable yet neurotic loser to replace charlie brown on the comics page. we've narrowed the field to three. now, america, it's up to you. and no mccain write-ins. little neuro in slumberland by windsor decay boy: sleep? who can sleep? my bed is full of microscopic dust mites-millions of them - i can feel their tiny feet! i need to wash my hands again! oop: go to sleep! li'l ichi, the laughmaking child with large westernized eyeballs ichi: that small red-haired girl still does not notice me! if i had a giant robot pal i would certainly gain her respect! there! the unborn loser by chick selzer kick oof baby: sigh i'll never kick that stupid football.