Rip Haywire by Dan Thompson for February 23, 2012
February 22, 2012
February 24, 2012
Transcript:
Voice: Cobra Carson, you stand accused of creating the evil empire skull! Cobra: On what grounds? The only empire I've created was on Sid Meier's civilization! Voice: Many years ago, you met Rip Haywire on the French Riviera! Cobra: That's a crime against the world? Voice: Shushies! I'm not finished! He feel madly in love with you! Cobra: Can you blame him, number 6? Voice: Please, can I have your digits? But Rip was engaged to another! Did you know that, miss I'm-too-seductive-to-be-guilty? She sure is! Silence, number 6!
Being the Well Read, World Weary Soul that I am, I’ve Actually read “Oedipus”. Thus, the implicit inference that S.K.U.L.L. was created by someone other than Dr. Pain is a Revelatory Twist I scarce foresaw. It should be Noted, however, that Dr. Pain may have been driven to found her Evil Empire on Behalf or even the Behest of the aforementioned Jilted Fiance’, Whom she Preferred over the Criminally Curvaceous Cobra Carson ( Impossible as Number Six may Hold THAT to be…) . And so Our Man Thompson rather neatly Sidesteps any “Ewwwwww! ICK” interpersonal Awkwardness at the obligatory Haywire Holiday Dinner. And I congratulate Any and All Hooligans who’ve managed to Follow my own Wide Ranging and Convoluted Diatribe thus Far. We Who Are About To Dine Salute You! HUGPOUNCESZZZ Y’all! :-)