Rip Haywire by Dan Thompson for July 21, 2013

Transcript:

Rip Haywire Rip and TNT are captured on a mission and forced to talk! Rip tells a story about his mother. Rip: Let's see, let's see. Where was I - mom abandoning me, ex-girlfriend stuff, something about a Polynesian curse... Oh, right. Mom, needed me to go down and get the thing. She was as brave as anybody but a total chicken when it came to the dark. Mom: Find the device, and I will keep guard. If we're separated, hide the doo-hickey, run and don't look back. The people who want this will stop at nothing to get it. Rip: I'm young, but that is over-the-top cliche, even for us, mom. Mom: I wouldn't say it if it wasn't true, Rip. They'll kill me to get you to hand over the "ghost compass." Rip: Mom, who are these people? Mom: A ruthless, no-good mercenary, who acts more like a pirate, named Shamus Longbeard is behind all of this. This whatsis leads to the other two geegaws that are hidden around the world. If put together, they give unlimited power to whomever controls them. Rip: Like a magic lamp with Schwarzenegger and Rambo in it. Mom: Don't forget Mr. Chuck Norris! We have to keep longbeard away!