Transcript:
Heh, babies. You get 'em a big fancy toy, and all they do is play with the box. You have access to all of Shakespeare for free and you watch game shows four hours a day! I'm old! I have earned the right to make bad decisions. goo? Damn right.
Once again, Zach Weinersmith illuminates all of the whys and wherefores of human history in only five panels.