Scary Gary by Mark Buford for June 03, 2023

I have a friend who is always cold. This may explain it.

At least you’re out there exercising, Gary. Owen can’t burn any calories.

Years ago I told my husband he was always hot because of the extra fat he had, I was always cold. (he wasn’t fat just big) He said that had nothing to do with it. Now that he is older and lost a lot of weight he says he is always cold because he doesn’t have the extra fat to keep him warm. I told him that has nothing to do with it. He asked where I got that information from.

Come see me, Gary. I can assess if you’re a candidate for Wegovy. Of course, there’s a national shortage because all the anorexic people in Hollywood have taken the stuff. Ridiculous. Hang in there, Gary. A lot of genetics at play in your weight set point. We love you.

I have a layer of fat and am always cold in the winter.

Most stories indicate that vampires, being dead, are also cold.

Fat isn’t blubber and he can always go back to satisfying his blood lust by killing those who call him fat, if he chose to…….

Owen may not play tennis, but he has a great backhand.

That’s not the compliment Gary wanted it tubby.

Poor Gary! Abused by all…..sort of

The only fat vampire I’ve ever known owns a legal firm in Beverly Hills CA…

Eat it, Gary. Even Owen has your number!