Tarzan by Edgar Rice Burroughs for January 04, 2023

“Morose” combat.

And during this “Thrilla with Apezilla”, the huge, man-like beast got hold of and tore at the tarmangani’s loincloth what proofs that it only takes a little to come from a “half-nelson” to the “full monty”…

How dare you interrupt my breakfast!

I hope D’Arnot was not hurt being tossed away…

One broken neck coming up.

“Enough with the monkey business”, says Tarzan, "me show no pit-y to thee! "

The knife Tarzan. The knife. You never hesitate to use it on the cats.

There will be nothing left for Wild Kingdom, come on Tarzan! Next it will be hamsters.

Great. Now I gotta take my bullet head to the chiropractor.

Full nelson

Tarzan used a full nelson to break the neck of a lion in ERB’s first novel about the ape man.

I’m sure they’ll be chatting in no time.

At least buy him dinner first.

“Hey, Tarz, what’s thew?”

“Nothin’ much, what’s thew with you?”

I thought a full nelson was two arms instead of just one. But it’s looking like it needs two arms and two legs. Two arms, anyway. Well…if I’m wrong, there goes all the time I’ve wasted watching what I thought was a full nelson. I could’ve been learning long division and other important stuff as a kid. The most important things is that when the good guy is down, the referee will reset his three-count for the nelson no matter how many times it takes before the good guy can get loose. Much as my brother and I were disgusted with these “acts”, we always managed to stay up until ten even when tomorrow was a school day.

Them apes never, ever learn…

I wish this huge hairy smelly great ape would make up his mind about which tarmangani to mate with….Tarzan (a fine specimen of a man), or D’Arnot ( a mustached perfumed frenchman with questionable sexual orientation)! Oui Oui Bon Ami and of course OOooooLaLa!!

Meh. Everyone knows this pro wrestling stuff is all scripted…