Ted Rall for June 01, 2000

Transcript:

In a nondescript house in a generic suburb in upstate New York, a woman waits for a call form the democratic party. She's their secret weapon: their Rick Lazio. Like her opportunistic republican counterpart, Lisa has already expressed her interest in the senate job. If Hillary isn't serious, I am. But she knows her only chance for glory relies on front-runner Hillary Clinton screwing up big-time. Today, Hillary Clinton admits to a lesbian affair with Janet Reno. (Just kidding) Yessssss! Oh. As a loyal democrat, Lisa hopes the first lady will triumph over Giulia - er, Lazio. But she's understandably conflicted. Thanks for watching my back, Lisa. Anytime! (Carpetbagging crone.) Knowing that she may have to drop everything to stand in for Hillary, Lisa watches and prepares for a campaign that may never happen. Bag the long island loser! Lisa for senate Lisa: the democratic alternative to Lazio if Hillary screws up, which hopefully won't happen. Any calls? Not for you. Next time: Steve, who sits around waiting for Lisa to screw up.