Ted Rall for March 06, 2008
March 03, 2008
March 08, 2008
Transcript:
It's 3 AM. There's a phone in the white house, and it's ringing. Who the hell is calling at this ungodly hour? Ring. Dammit... It's the terrorists. For far too long, they've exploited the earth's rotation and position relative to the sun to attack Americans while they're trying to catch some sleep. Are you detaining prince Albert in a can? Barack Obama will use his magic powers to deprive our enemies of their longitudinal time zone advantage. The earth will rotate once a year, like Mercury. Now America will always face the sun! Thanks to "tidal locking," temperatures on the dark side of the earth where the evildoers dwell will plunge to near absolute zero. All but ending molecular movement. Should've... Could've... During.. Business... Hours. Obama: change we can bask in.
