Ted Rall for June 15, 2012
June 13, 2012
June 18, 2012
Transcript:
U.S. Troops will soon carry 6-pound "switchblade" drones. A new generation of small remote-controlled weapons whose tiny explosive warheads can blow up enemy soldiers with pinpoint accuracy. Modeled on the Amazonian fish, the "Candiru" drone flies up its victim's pee hole prior to detonation. (Barack Obama: Fortunately, collateral damage will be linked to genitals of mistakenly targeted civilians.) Taking its cue from the African eye parasite, the "Loa Loa" worm drone is implanted by a "bite" by a fly drone. The Loa Loa migrates through the skin to an insurgent's eye. (Man: What th- omg agh just friggin' kill me already!) Almost ready: The Higgs Boson sub-particle drone exists through solid matter at the speed of light. (Woman: It's too small to kill anyone, but it's deployable based on coolness alone.) It's all good fun until some other team gets the same weapons. (Man: Seems that Iran-) (Barack Obama: Nuke 'em!)
