Ted Rall for August 07, 2013

Transcript:

This week on Data Hoarders: The reality show about people who over-collect info. The show comes to Fort Meade, Maryland. (Man: Look at all these servers! What are you storing on all these boxes?) Barry has a problem: he's accumulated so much data, it's ruining his whole country. (Barack Obama: This metadata is for every phone call... never know. Could come in handy...) (Man: That pile over there! What's on those?!?) (Barack Obama: Every e-mail plus every text message in America! I need those!) (Man: Why?!) Fabulous clutter consultant Edward isn't taking any guff. (Man: What's this about a 5-zettabyte data farm in $#@ Utah?!) (Barack Obama: Off-site storage! For skype intercepts and google searches!) (Man: Do you ever even look at all this crap?) (Barack Obama: Sometimes... hardly ever. But what if there's something in there I want?!?) (Man: Enough! Activate the mega magnet. It's wipe time!!) Then: Twist ending! (Man: You know, Barry, droning Edward only adds to the pile.) (Barack Obama: I don't have a data problem- gimme data and there's no problem!)