Ted Rall for May 02, 2016

Transcript:

Narrator: In a rare move, trailing candidate Ted Cruz has announced his pick for veep- Carly Fiorina- before his party's convention. Ted Cruz: I'm not desperate. Just thought you should know. Narrator: In the same futuristic vein, almost-certainly-never-the-nominee Cruz says he's pre-declaring war against the possible-future state of Kurdistan. Woman: Why? Ted Cruz: We're figuring that out. It'll be over the Kurds' alleged incursion into the airspace of our future Ally, ISIS. People: U-S-S-A! U-S-S-A! Narrator: In the interest of transparency, future-maybe-probably. Not-president Cruz says his impeachment will follow V.P. Fiorina's embezzlement conviction. Ted Cruz: But it'll be a great 11 months until then!