That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for August 01, 2019

“Ok, mate, this is what we call football in Australia. Not that pansy stuff you play in Europe.”

After Biff stopped to pose for the painter, the rest of the players just went for a beer.

Maybe time for a new shoe contract.

“Yes, I am wearing one-inch heels. What’s your point?”

The down-under version of the Marlboro Man, the Marlboro Mate.

Hey, does this outfit make my butt look big?

It wasn’t “sleeveless”. It was his right to bear arms!

“Pardon me—do you have any Grey Poupon?”

Okay, but why are those big guys running full speed at me?

Couldn’t decide if playing shirts or SKINS !

That look you give when you blew the hand off, and 4 guys, in excess of 300lb, are thundering toward you.

Although ‘e was "losin’ ‘is figger"/nobody would trifle wi’ "Digger/ The Beast o’ the Squad/ ‘e was ’eavily shod/ an’ meaner than God – only bigger.

“I don’t know. This ball feels a little under inflated”

This ‘ere is Digger MacBream/ big an’ fast – every coach’s dream/ but he wears pretty shoes/ and he’s scared of tattoos/ so they don’t want ’im on the team.

I’ll trade you two Spencer cards for the Nigel rookie card and $300.

In Australian rules football, a sleeveless shirt was part of the uniform, but high heels were optional.

I can assume this artist was well known, but I gotta say: this painting depicts the subject as having tiny little feet, a rotund core, and a head a size or two too small for its trunk. One hopes for the subject that the artist’s work was inaccurate.

Geoff Moriarty, 1901: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Geoff_Moriarty_1901.jpg 

has info and links that point to info about this roughly B2 paper size painting.

Other than what’s pointed to by the title URL, I could find no online information about this artist, who from auction listings, mainly did equine or other sporting paintings. This is the first work by him used here.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #2255 (July 31, 2019) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment.

Last effort: His complexion was “pride of the team”/ his arms were like peaches and cream/ but he drove the Coach bats / he refused to wear “flats” ! / Sometimes things ain’t quite what they seem..

Wow! This is the biggest suppository I’ve ever seen!

Before instant replay there was instant reenactment in water colors.

If you touch the ball with your hands it’s “hand ball”.

So…hold the ball in this way…and now?…run?…run with it you say? How odd! Whyever would one run with it? No, no…not my goal in life. Ha ha ha ha, quite a jape, my friend! C’mon, chum, time to quaff an ale and flap the flappers! I’ll fire up the old flivver!

Nigel thought bubble: “Gender assumption. GENDER ASSUMPTION.”

When the opposing team failed to show, Freddie Mercury got the inspiration to write “We Are the Champions”.

“I know I gotta kick the ball, mate. But my neck’s got a friggin’ kink in it!”

footballer Freddy mercury in his butcher days.

Sears pose #37

Did you just call me a sticky beak poofter Bruce?