We’d like to set the record straight by singing of the newtFor newts are open-minded; they are flexible and cuteA newt can breathe in water and a newt can breathe on landAnd if you are a different critter newts will understand
Newts are not mean-spirited; they never are unfairNewts are not underhanded and are not afraid to shareNewts do not have bad haircuts because newts are lacking hairBut the newt called Gingrich drives all true newts to despair
Gingrich the Newt’s a disgrace to the nameWhen true newts see him they feel so ashamedHe’s the black sheep of the newt familyThe one rotten fruit on the newt family tree
Newts don’t prey on other newts; in that they don’t believeAnd you will never catch a newt with something up his sleeveThey’re tolerant to different environments and soThey don’t send little newties to the orphanage to grow
What kind of newt wears a suit and a tieAnd frightens small children as he rushes by?But we admit that his suit suits him goodMuch more discreet than a sheet and a hood
A newt may be cold-blooded but he won’t go to extremesAnd you can trust a newt to be exactly what he seemsNewts are sorry if you’re sad; they’re happy if you’re gayBut Gingrich is perverse, and worseHe’s proud to be that way
Gingrich the Newt is puffed up like a toadSo full of himself that he’s bound to explodeAnd then we’ll raise up our tails in saluteA fitting tributeTo that horse’s patootGingrich the Newt—Austin Lounge Lizards
We’d like to set the record straight by singing of the newtFor newts are open-minded; they are flexible and cuteA newt can breathe in water and a newt can breathe on landAnd if you are a different critter newts will understand
Newts are not mean-spirited; they never are unfairNewts are not underhanded and are not afraid to shareNewts do not have bad haircuts because newts are lacking hairBut the newt called Gingrich drives all true newts to despair
Gingrich the Newt’s a disgrace to the nameWhen true newts see him they feel so ashamedHe’s the black sheep of the newt familyThe one rotten fruit on the newt family tree
Newts don’t prey on other newts; in that they don’t believeAnd you will never catch a newt with something up his sleeveThey’re tolerant to different environments and soThey don’t send little newties to the orphanage to grow
What kind of newt wears a suit and a tieAnd frightens small children as he rushes by?But we admit that his suit suits him goodMuch more discreet than a sheet and a hood
A newt may be cold-blooded but he won’t go to extremesAnd you can trust a newt to be exactly what he seemsNewts are sorry if you’re sad; they’re happy if you’re gayBut Gingrich is perverse, and worseHe’s proud to be that way
Gingrich the Newt is puffed up like a toadSo full of himself that he’s bound to explodeAnd then we’ll raise up our tails in saluteA fitting tributeTo that horse’s patootGingrich the Newt—Austin Lounge Lizards