The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for May 22, 2013

1/3 the calories = 1/3 the taste.

A moment on the lips, a month on the hips. But oh it tastes so good.

Since it’s still only the first day, God is wondering: What the heck is a ranch?

This all happened back in His salad days.

He then went on to create MSG, “natural flavors”, artificial flavors,(one of my favorites) high fructose corn syrup, partially hydrogenated oils, potassium sorbate and calcium disodium EDTA.

“Introducing ‘Lite’: the new way to spell “light” but with 20 per cent fewer letters."- Jerry Seinfeld

I don’t buy Ranch. Lite or dark.

How many Calories in a Universe? Maybe quasars are the Supreme Being cutting back the excess, like crusts around the edges.

That’s exactly how I feel about all that diet crap!

I refuse to buy, or consume anything with the word lite, or diet on the label as that is assuredly a sign of the addition of bastardized foods, that if consumed over long periods of time will bring poor health & obessity. Consuming those products is like going out & looking for cancer

you are what you eat

“Lite” and “Reduced Fat” are generally higher in carbs with more hydrogenated/artificial ingredients. .@Linux…being generous on that taste ratio aren’t you?

Cellulite: 1/3 less fat than regular cells?

I may be wrong, but weren’t there a lot less overweight folks long before the Lite, Diet and No foods? My great grand parents ate butter, whole milk and even sometimes sopped up the bacon grease with a biscuit. Lived to be near 100.

And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach and green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

And Satan created McDonald’s. And McDonald’s brought forth the 99-cent double-cheeseburger. And Satan said to Man, “You want fries with that?” And Man said, “Super size them.” And Man gained pounds.

And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that man found so fair.

And Satan froze the yogurt, and he brought forth chocolate, nuts and brightly colored sprinkle candy to put on the yogurt. And woman gained pounds.

And God said, “Try my crispy fresh salad.”

And Satan brought forth creamy dressings, bacon bits, and shredded cheese. And there was ice cream for dessert. And woman gained pounds.

And God said, “I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them.”

And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak from Cracker Barrel so big it needed its own platter And Man gained pounds, and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.

And God brought forth running shoes, and Man resolved to lose those extra pounds.

And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2.. And Man gained pounds.

And God said, “You’re running up the score, Devil.” And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.

And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fat fried them. And he created sour cream dip also. And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol. And Satan saw and said, “It is good.” And Man went into cardiac arrest.

And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery…..

And Satan created HMOs…

dumb

Heehee. God just needs to get used to it, then the old version will taste weird to Him.

Bravo! Packratjohn

The discovery of the Higgs boson tells us God has been sneaking the regular dressing.