The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for August 20, 2020

If he had any more definitions, he’d be the Oxford English Dictionary.

I think you’re a little too wordy as it is!

He also wants to lead a cleaner, more holy life. He doesn’t want any sin on ‘im.

Teen Prankster: Excuse me, do you have Webster’s Dictionary?

Reference Librarian: Yes we do.

Teen Prankster: Well why don’t you give it back to him?

I think today’s joke is abridged too far.

Don’t forget the muscles…

He’s looking for more muscle tome.

My goals are undefined.

The fellow who just flounced out as you entered is thesaurus guy I ever saw.

He’s the scholar type, with book bod.

He wants to be a weighty tome.

Man, most of the good jokes were already taken! Great puns all.

Maybe trim down to a glossary?

He’s lookin’ to be unabridged.

Funny, you’re the Third New International to come in here today.

Ok…Goals: “A goal is an idea of the future or desired result that a person or a group of people envision, plan and commit to achieve. People endeavour to reach goals within a finite time by setting deadlines,” Strength Building: ….

He heard that exercise could clear up his Funk, and Wagnall his way into his girlfriend’s arms (note the ironic use of the Oxford comma).

So, then, he wants to bulk up?

I think it’s just dumb

Kudos, Scott Hilburn! This is one of the very, very rare ’toons that got an audible chuckle out of me. Well actually it was more of a laughing snort.

Good thing he isn’t going the steroid route. He’d wind up as a thesaurus.

How about a chest heart rate monitor that doesn’t slide down during a big sweat?