The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for February 05, 2021

Hey buddy, you briquet you bought it!

He wanted to have it rounded so it’ll match his good eye.

I’d give my right eye for a go at her.

If he’s planning on giving it to his girlfriend, he might want to reconsider. I hear that she’s a bit cold-hearted.

too bad – he was hoping to pick the ice up later today…

Well under the right pressure it will take only millions of years.

Better keep an eye on him, Frosty or it will cost you an arm and…well, an arm!

Well I’ll keep my eye out for a better deal if you don’t mind.

It’s worth the wait. Everyone knows that coal lumps are a snowgirl’s best friend.

Which one will be under the most pressure: the coal, the jewler, or that coal?

Why the ring? She gave him the cold shoulder.

He wants to have a gleam in his eye. :)

Wow, I can’t believe no one has made a Superman III reference yet.

Elvis in an alternate universe?

Oh…she’s a coal digger…that digs on he!

But no pressure.

Picky, picky, I know – but why does the store name read normally? If you were standing outside, it would be backwards.

Here’s your ticket. It’ll be ready for pickup on February 7th, 200,000,022. Remember we close at 5.

He should give up the coal in his mouth. After he’s married, he won’t need it anyhow.

Is he just doing the one.

Ah, a Van Gogh-style gift, I thought he was shopping for a monocle.

Since human ashes can be turned into a diamond really fast, that sales guy isn’t telling the truth.

Well, try putting in high oxygen-free heat and mega-Pascals of pressure. Oh, and I’ll need a glass-eye till spring.

That’s King Cole, not King Coal.

Doesn’t it have to be actual coal to produce a diamond? Not charcoal?

Everyone likes a little eye candy.

Don’t worry, just turn the heat on high. Problem solved. Take the money and run.

He works better under pressure

Coal-hearted?

He’s just a old chunk of coal, but he’ll be a diamond someday.