From Not Always Right: A Husband’s Hilarious Halloween Courthouse Costume Caper
My wife was an elected county official. This story takes place on the afternoon of Halloween. That day, the courthouse employees brought finger foods, and many wore some fashion of a costume to work.
I decided, unbeknownst to my wife, that I was going to dress for the occasion and walk the five blocks from my office downtown to the courthouse and pay her a visit.
I was able to fit into one of her drop-waist, size-ten dresses: an ugly yellow with big black polka-dots. I bought a costume wig at the five-and-dime, wadded up a small bath towel for padding on one side and a hand towel for the other side, and wore knee highs rolled down to my ankles.
When I got to the courthouse, I sat outside my wife’s office door and had one of her girls tell her there was a woman in the outer office with a problem. When my wife came up behind me, I could tell she did not recognize that ugly dress or me until I jumped up to give her a hug. She shrieked and ran into her office.
On the way back to my office, I had to wait for a traffic light at the busiest intersection in our town. Because it was difficult to walk with my stride in that dress, I hiked it up almost to my waist. (I had on walking shorts under the dress.)
A guy in the first car shot a leer at me until he realized he wasn’t being flashed by a woman.
Guys, take it from me. Don’t use lipstick. Boy, that stuff is hard to get off!
From Not Always Right: A Husband’s Hilarious Halloween Courthouse Costume Caper
My wife was an elected county official. This story takes place on the afternoon of Halloween. That day, the courthouse employees brought finger foods, and many wore some fashion of a costume to work.
I decided, unbeknownst to my wife, that I was going to dress for the occasion and walk the five blocks from my office downtown to the courthouse and pay her a visit.
I was able to fit into one of her drop-waist, size-ten dresses: an ugly yellow with big black polka-dots. I bought a costume wig at the five-and-dime, wadded up a small bath towel for padding on one side and a hand towel for the other side, and wore knee highs rolled down to my ankles.
When I got to the courthouse, I sat outside my wife’s office door and had one of her girls tell her there was a woman in the outer office with a problem. When my wife came up behind me, I could tell she did not recognize that ugly dress or me until I jumped up to give her a hug. She shrieked and ran into her office.
On the way back to my office, I had to wait for a traffic light at the busiest intersection in our town. Because it was difficult to walk with my stride in that dress, I hiked it up almost to my waist. (I had on walking shorts under the dress.)
A guy in the first car shot a leer at me until he realized he wasn’t being flashed by a woman.
Guys, take it from me. Don’t use lipstick. Boy, that stuff is hard to get off!
(NOT my story)