Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for July 15, 2000

Transcript:

The Supreme Court recently upheld the constitutional requirement of the Miranda warning ("You have the right to remain silent...") as a police practice that has become part of our "national culture." At the same time, the high court held that other police procedures that have similarly become embedded in our culture shall also be judicially mandated. "Every suspect brought in for questioning must be assigned a Good Cop and a Bad Cop." 531 U.S. at 1124. Good Cop: I'll be your good cop, and Sgt. Mueller will be your bad cop... Bad Cop: JUST GIVE ME 5 MINUTES WITH HIM!! THAT'S ALL I ASK!! "If a police officer is assigned to a younger partner, the two will initially dislike each other, but will eventually learn to respect each other's differing styles and share a fierce loyalty." 531 U.S., at 1129. Criminal: These cuffs are too tight, you #$%@ cop! Cop: Hey, only I can talk to him that way! He's my partner! "Each time a police officer engages in a car chase through city streets, he or she will careen into a fruit stand." 531 U.S., at 1134. SCREECH "If a serial killer leaves obscure, taunting clues at murder scenes, the police chief will not believe the investigator's theory of the crimes." 531 U.S., at 1139 Cop 2: You see, I found trace amounts of sunflower pollen at each... Chief: What are you, a botanist? These murders are UNRELATED! And you're off the case!! And, of course. "No vulgarities shall be used to describe the reputation of ex-cop private dicks, unless you're talkin' 'bout Shaft, in which case, we can dig it." 531 U.S., at 1142.