Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for June 01, 2002

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling What If Tom Daschle Were President In August 2001? Aide: ...and there seems to be increased noise about an Al Qaeda hijacking plot... Tom: WHAT?! Tom: Okay, alert the media, and send a mailing to every American! Close down the Empire State Building... ...AND THE WORLD TRADE CENTER! Tom: Federalize airport security immediately, and change the policy for all weapons checks -- Tom: I want every passenger checked not just for bombs and guns, but also knives...EVEN BOX CUTTERS! And for God's sake -- CHECK THEIR SHOES! Later, in a Portland, Maine Motel -- Man: We'd like to check out. Front Desk Clerk: Hmm...staying one night...paying cash...suspicious. Man: It's PRESIDENT DASCHLE! Tom: That's right! Man: H-how did you know? Tom: Just a hunch, evil-doer, but it PAID OFF! Later -- Tom: It's a good thing you brought that 1 1/2 page report to me! Aide: It's a good thing the Supreme Court installed you as president! Well, they know best...