Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for August 30, 2003

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling Bob's eye for the STRAIGHT GUY This Week: Bob meets Andy, a regular guy who wants to be even LESS fabulous! Can Bob's tips make Andy MORE straight? GROOMING Just go to the barber your mom took you to when you were ten. Man: But don't read the coverless Archie comics! DESIGN The orange couch that was in your uncle's basement? Perfect! Man: Milk crates are perfect for everything from storage to table-building! FOOD & WINE Can't go wrong with Boston Market! Go for 3 sides, and complement with a 2-liter Sprite! Man: Burnt microwave popcorn will round out the meal! FASHION Off-brand polo shirt, Lee jeans, tube socks Man: And get those contacts out! Too much trouble! Try these greasy, over-sized glasses. CULTURE A dizzying array of cultural offerings: a Phillie's game, "Every Which Way But Loose" on TBS, and "Rebel Strike" on Playstation 2 until 3 am. Man: I'm so proud! Okay, Andy! You're ready for your big Friday night! Yes, Bob's work is done: Andy is now STRAIGHTER than STRAIGHT! He's so un-feminine, no woman will ever look at him! Next Week: Bob convinces MITCH to spend a Saturday night writing an angry e-mail to an ESPN.com columnist.