Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for August 06, 2005

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling The Hard-Boiled Justice of Judge Scalia Judge Scalia is enjoying a judicial workout. Thomas: ...and so the confirmation hearings for John Roberts will...THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Judge Scalia: What's that, Thomas? Thomas: Every time I mention Roberts' name, you get that smile on your face. Judge Scalia: Let me tell you a little story... Years ago, I was in the Indiana hills doing some bare-knuckled badger rasslin'! DIE, rodent! BABY: WAH! Judge Scalia: WHAT'S THAT? I investigated and found... --an INFANT! No doubt abandoned by some liberal delinquent who believed she had some Constitutional right to an ABORTION! Baby: WAH WAAA... Judge Scalia: Yet obviously such a right is NOWHERE in the text of the Constitution! Baby: Giggle...coo coo. Judge Scalia: What th...? My remark pacified the child... Good lord! This is a BABY STRICT CONSTRUCTIONIST! Baby: Ga? Judge Scalia: I'll place you with an upstanding family...and I'll teach you the ways of judicial conservatism! Judge Scalia: You'll be groomed, primed and molded -- and eventually join me on the Supreme Court! I shall call you...JOHN ROBERTS! TO! BE! CONTINUED!!