Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for November 19, 2005

Transcript:

president goofus president gallant this week -- honesty and integrity in the white house goofus hides behind legal proceedings to avoid straight-forward accountability. "i'm going to honor the rules of the investigation, and not comment." gallant acts boldly to do not only what is legal, but what is right. "will you fire rove?" "there's an ongoing investigation." goofus uses his last days in office to grant pardons as personal favors. "this billionaire has suffered enough." gallant has no plans to grant any pardons, except for some folks who may have been over-prosecuted. "line up! get 'em while they're hot!" goofus cravenly uses legal semantics to try to extricate himself from a personal imbroglio. "it depends on what your definition of the word 'is' is." gallant always uses clear language to explain whatever small issues that may pop up. "we don't 'torture' because 'torture' is illegal, and what we do is 'legal.'" goofus is willing to lie to the american people about his personal life. "I did not have sexual relations with that woman." gallant's little mistruths are solely the result of other people's failures. "...saddam hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from africa..." next week: a special guest goofus, president saddam hussein! goofus's administration tortures prisoners and uses chemical weapons on citizens under its control. what does gallant do...?