Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for June 23, 2007

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling Bert the Turtle "If A Gay-Bomb Falls!" Produced by the Federal Agency of Civil Defense Against Bizarre Theoretical Weapons We Ourselves Are Considering Bert the Turtle knows what to do if an A-BOMB falls! Bert: Duck and cover! But does he know what to do if a GAY-BOMB should fall? ????? Everyone knows that a nation's FIGHTING STRENGTH lies in its people's ATTRACTION TO THE OPPOSITE SEX. Man: A frightening new weapon, the GAY-BOMB, releases a hormone that will turn you HOMOSEXUAL -- and you'll instantly engage in immoral sexual activities! So, if a gay-bomb strikes -- Student: Under our desks! Man: NO! Into the CLOSETS! Now, quick! Fight your impulses! Boys, ask a girl to the prom! Boy: ...and can I design your gown? So: remember, Bert, at the first sign of a gay-bomb... Gay-BOOM! "Duck and Suffer" Bert: Great -- now my nation's security depends on me finding a lesbian turtle to marry!