Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for December 15, 2007

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling "That's Entertainment" 7:14 pm: A drunk shirtless guy tosses a hat onto his head -- and the video is posted on YouTube. 7:19 pm: The video is a smash hit, drawing 50,000 hits in just over three minutes. Man: HAW! 7:20 pm: Drunk-shirtless-hat-guy signs with WMA and then lands a two-picture deal with Fox. 7:21 pm: He buys an ocean-view Mediterranean-style mansion in Pacific Palisades. DSHG: Finally! FOR SALE SOLD 7:22 pm: He marries actress Kristin Kreuk in a tasteful ceremony at a Santa Barbara ranch. 7:23 pm: The hit rate on his YouTube video starts to decline, and he loses the Fox deal. DSHG: WHAT?! 7:24 pm: After replacing his entire management team, he gets an offer to host a new game show. Can You Sing Like A Fifth DSHG: Uh...stay um...tuned. Man: Perfect! You're hired! 7:25 pm: But financial stresses cause Drunk-shirtless-hat-guy to get even drunker. Kristin: Honey... DSHG: I KNOW WHAT I'M DOIN'! 7:26 pm: After an unfortunate incident in Mexico, the game show offer is retracted. Man: Yeah, you're a celebrity! But you're no skateboarding-dog! DSHG: urk 7:27 pm: And then Drunk-shirtless-hat-guy's marriage to Kristin Kreuk disintegrates. Kristin: Why can't you be the man you were six minutes ago! 7:28 pm: His attempt to "return to his roots" by making another YouTube video is an utter failure. SNORK 7:29 pm: Drunk-shirtless-hat-guy's last taste of fame is a spot on VH1's "I Love 7:19pm!" I Heart 7:19 DSHG: Remember that move with the hat? That was awesome!